Time Out

July 6, 2008

in Daily Life, Relationship

I realize it’s been awhile since I’ve written. Today, I want to share a few new resources with you.Let me preface these recommendations with just a little background, if I may.

I just returned from a wonderful weekend retreat at Kripalu Yoga Center in Lenox, MA. I danced, ate good food, spent time in the whirlpool, walked, met some amazing women , had the best seat in the world to view 4th of July fireworks, (as well as 3rd and 5th of July fireworks). engaged in soul searching, journaling, meditation, and yoga, and had more FUN than I can remember having in a long time.AND there’s no wine, or TV there. Evening entertainment consists of chanting- in another language! Internet and cell phone usage is very limited and restricted to certain areas.

I know to some of you what I just described does not sound like YOUR idea of fun, but if you are a Mom, or someone who cares for children on a regular basis, I bet you get it because when you’ve got children to attend to 24 hours a day, the mere idea of going to the bathroom to pee alone sounds like fun!

Anyway, this past weekend was all about self renewal and self care. I was reminded once again of the importance of slowing down and taking time for myself in order to have the energy and joy to continue to nurture the children and families I care for and try to inspire in my work.

I count myself as so lucky and blessed to be able to do (and get paid for! ) work that I love, have chosen, and that feeds and challenges me to grow every day. Yet, if I don’t periodically take time to renew my energy and resources, I find myself with less to give to the children and parents who count on me.

Which leads me to the point of this entry. Finally!

I’m not a big believer in time out for children, but I AM a big believer in time out for adults! So often, when adults send children to a chair for a time out, it is because WE are angry and frustrated, and don’t know what else to do. The child is just being a child.

About time out for children, Magda Gerber often said : “Time out from what? From life ? From learning ? Isn’t it better to stay in life and learn from whatever is happening?”.

Magda’s belief was that young children didn’t benefit much from time out because they lack the ability to sit and reflect on their actions, and if they did indeed possess the ability to self reflect and foresee consequences, they might not be acting like little monsters in the first place!

But children are children, and they need a lot of time and a lot of support from loving adults to become reasonably co-operative and socialized .In the meantime , the adults in their lives have to be patient, and be good role models. This is by no means an easy task on the best of days!

So we as adults, parents, and caregivers, have to take care of ourselves, and renew our reserves on a regular basis if we hope to be able to give our children the support they need.

I’m a big believer in reading, communicating,and sharing resources to help parents achieve their goal of finding ways to “fill up” in order to renew their reserves of energy, patience, and good humor, so that they might then have more to give to their children.

Unfortunately, there’s just so much junk that is pushed upon (marketed to) parents, that I often have a hard time coming up with resources that I can recommend whole heartedly.

Which is why I get so excited when I find resources I can recommend without reservation.

Today, I have two for you – both of which you can access on the web. Do yourself a favor and take a minute to log on to the following sites. I promise you won’t be sorry you did ! ( If you click on the web addresses below, you will go directly to the sites – but don’t forget to come back to Regarding Baby!)

First go to www.lifeorganizerbook.com, which is a web site designed by Jennifer Louden (my retreat leader this past weekend),and then go to www.dork-central.com.

The second site is the brainchild of Christena Frei , and is designed for children ages 9 – 13, but is SO cool,and so much fun, you’ll be glad you visited too ! Have fun and Enjoy !

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