Baby Connect- A Useful Tool For Parents

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My child is three years old now, but has been having some health challenges which make it necessary to carefully track food intake, medication, diaper contents, sleep, mood, and activity, in order to share with health care professionals. Enter Baby Connect.

Rarely (Okay, never!) have I been as excited about an app as I am about this one, which is why I’m sharing. I would have loved to have known about this tool or have had it available to me when I was working as a nanny or an infant/toddler teacher, as I regularly kept written logs of each child’s day and critical information such as diaper changes, amount of milk and food consumed, sleep and wake times, etc., for parents. I often ask parents to keep simple logs for me when I’m doing consults, particularly when their concerns are around sleep. All of these little details of a baby’s day and routine are important in the early years, and give clues about a child’s overall health and growth. Often, it’s not so easy to accurately keep track of these details.

Baby Connect makes it a cinch to keep track of crucial information. I have been using it for about a week now, and I have to tell you, it beats pen and paper hands down. It is an easy to use, comprehensive tool. The app tracks and graphs changes over time, which is also helpful. It can be customized, easily shared with others, and used on multiple devices. It can record feedings, nursing, naps, diapers, milestones, pumping, baby’s mood, temperature, activities, and even gps location. If you have more than one child, or care for more than one child, the app can manage that.  A web interface is also accessible for free, so a childcare provider doesn’t need a smart phone to view and enter information about the child, and I like that I can easily share information with my child’s health care provider via the web interface.

I also appreciate the diary feature, and that I can even take pictures from the app. With one click, I can accurately record the time and most important pieces of information as an event occurs, and then I can go back to record or fill in additional details later, so as not to take time away from being present for my child. Take a look at the video below for a demonstration. Honestly, it’s the best $4.99 I have ever spent. I just wish I had known about it sooner.

Note: The link provided is an Affiliate Link from Amazon, which means if you choose to purchase through this link,  I receive a small percentage of the sale, which helps to me to defray the cost of maintaining this blog.

The Cat in the Mad Hatter’s Tea Party!

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(With thanks to Janet Lansbury for the title!)

I actually took this picture of R’s play space about three weeks ago, but it seemed appropriate to post here, today. R had been playing, and then went for a nap, and I went to tidy up her play space and happened upon this scene, which just made me break down in laughter. I shared this photo on facebook, and it seemed to bring joy to many, and also resulted in this most amazing conversation/revelation which I also want to share, as a testimony to the power of social media to connect  and strengthen all of us.

In response to this photo, Ody, who lives in New York and is someone I have yet to meet in person, but who is a facebook friend and follower responded:

“I must tell you that my father who doesn’t speak, read or write much English is one of your followers. (I told him about you and how we are implementing a RIE approach at our home.)”

I  replied: “Your comment just made me cry (happy tears). Thank you. That is just so beautiful that your father wants to learn and talk about RIE with you, and I am beyond honored that he’d take the time and effort required to translate my posts. So often, I hear from people that their families don’t understand or are critical. And to think that the Internet has made this all possible. It just blows me away.”

Ody: “He took the liberty of adding you and with the help of a dictionary reads everything and then comes and talks about it with the rest of the family and I! He is a wonderful father and always being very respectful and loving towards us, his kids!

Now I am going to translate! Lol! Menegildo Cruz, Le explique a mi amiga Lisa, que usted ha sido un padre maravilloso, muy respetuoso y que siempre ha estado informado y muy al día con todo los acontecimientos.Lo mucho que me apoya con Lulu y el hecho de esta en FB aún con su poca limitación en el Inglés y tecnología. Lo amo!”

Ody: “Awww, you have no idea how much impact your posts have in our life. We talk about it during dinner time! Is part of my bonding with him. He has always being a man ahead of his time, but most of all a great listener. Always paying attention to what’s important to us.This is a man that used to wake up hours before my mom to make us breakfast, that used to cut newspaper articles and send then to me while I was away in college so when on his phone calls to me on Saturdays we could talk about it. Thank you, for creating this platform and educating us. Besos”

Someone very close to me, who has been a friend, a teacher, and a mentor, and who knew Magda Gerber well, recently expressed her doubts about on-line relationships and learning. She asked me, “Do you really think it’s possible for people to connect in a real way on-line? Do you really think we can share RIE in a way that is authentic, and will help people to understand, learn, and make use of the philosophy without the face to face “in person” connection?”  My answer is yes! This conversation is an example of that for me. It warmed my heart and confirmed for me what is possible when we engage in, and use social media authentically, responsibly and with intention. There are drawbacks  and limitations to be sure, but today, I wanted to share with you a possibility.

Happy New Year, everyone!

When Technology Brings Us Together

Technology. It’s a double edged sword. There are ways we can use it that can distract us and create distance, and there are ways we can use it that can bring us closer together, enrich our lives, and support us in connecting, and building our relationships with one another. I think it depends in large part on how and when we choose to use it, particularly when it comes to young children.

I personally see no benefit in handing iphones or ipads to young children for the purpose of entertainment, distraction, skill building, or story telling. There’s nothing quite like holding a small child in your lap and sharing a book together- the fancy, animated ipad app adds nothing to the experience, in my opinion.

 

Phone call for you

 

So often these days, when in public places, parents are tempted to hand babies and toddlers iphones to pacify and entertain them. It works. But is it really a good idea? Can You Be A Good Parent Without Technology?, questions this increasingly common practice. The author shares an observation she made during a recent train commute: “On this particular morning, a mom with a stroller and a toddler sat down next to me. The little boy was fine while he was standing and walking, but as soon as the train started moving, and mom scooped him up in her arms, he started wailing. Loudly.”

The mom responded not by handing her child a cellphone, but by holding him, and singing.

“And then, after what seemed like forever, but in reality was just a few moments, the boy looked up at his mom’s face and started singing with her. And as they sang, the rest of the us smiled. It was quite an amazing moment.

It made me wonder; are we too quick to hand a tech toy or an iPhone to our children in those situations because we’re worried about disturbing others? Is it because we don’t want to struggle with a screaming toddler? Perhaps we just don’t want to sing in front of a crowded train full of strangers.”

Today, I read  How To Miss A Childhood, which highlights the many ways in which adults sometimes unwittingly fall into the trap of using technology in a fashion that creates disconnection and distance, and leaves both parents and children feeling lonely. The author puts forth a “recipe” she says is guaranteed to result in:

• Missed opportunities for human connection

• Fewer chances to create beautiful memories

• Lack of connection to the people most precious to you

• Inability to really know your children and them unable to know you

• Overwhelming regret

Happily, the author also includes a recipe for “How To Grasp a Childhood”, which  requires only one thing: “You must put down your phone. Whether it is for ten minutes, two hours, or an entire Saturday, beautiful human connection, memory making, and parent-child bonding can occur every single time you let go of distraction to grasp what really matters.”

My New Phone

Magda Gerber encouraged parents to give babies 100 percent attention during caregiving routines like feeding, changing, bathing, and putting them to bed. She also encouraged regular doses of “wants nothing” quality time, which is predictable, regular time when the adult is available to the child without an agenda. She advised,” Turn off the phone and the TV, talk to your baby and explain what you’re going to do. Be fully present.” Not always easy advice to follow, even before smart phones and ipads were ubiquitous, but maybe more important now than ever before.

The challenge I think, is to remain conscious and intentional in our use of technological devices and screens. Certainly, there can be benefits to all of the ever expanding ways we have to “connect” through ever advancing technology and the use of social media. When and how can technology be used to enhance our connection to children and our understanding of each other? Let me share a few recent experiences that illustrate:

When family and friends are far away: On Sunday, I was able to Skype with S. (age 7),  J. (age 3 and 3/4 ), and family for an hour. The whole family was present. M. was making chicken soup, V. was talking with me, sharing the news of the week, and S. and J. were playing. Both children spent some time talking with me, but mostly they played, and sometimes narrated their own play, while I watched and exclaimed. Both children were relaxed and completely un-self conscious.

S. was working on an art project, and J. was building an intricate block construction using  gear blocks. He was focused on his project, but aware of my presence. “Look, Lisa, do you see how it moves when I turn this handle?”  After a little while, he decided he wanted to do an art project too, and I watched as he carefully colored a fairy all in blue. V. and the children took me on a tour of their front yard, while the children talked excitedly about their preparations for Halloween. “Show Lisa the skeleton, Mommy!” “Lisa, look at the spider webs we got. We’re going to put them up after dinner.” We tried to reach out and touch each other, and give hugs, which resulted in giggles. Was it ideal? No, but  it was a window into their world I would not have otherwise had, since I’m over 3,000 miles away. I was able to see their beautiful faces , hear their sweet voices, and witness a small part of their day in real time. They had my full and complete attention. They later told their mom, “It was almost like having a play date with Lisa.”

When a short video demonstration speaks a thousand words and helps you to learn or reinforces your parenting skills: RIE parent/infant classes aren’t readily available to everyone, everywhere, and it can be difficult to grasp the concepts through reading alone, which is why I especially appreciated this recent post from Janet Lansbury, with accompanying video clip: Would You Pick Up This Crying Baby?. It was also a comfort to listen to an audio recording of  Magda Gerber’s 1979 Keynote Speech at the RIE Conference outlining the basics of the RIE philosophy. Just a few short years ago, these resources were not widely available or accessible, but they are today, thanks to recent advances in technology and the use of social media.

When a blog post brings people together and facilitates the creation of community in “real life”: I find myself in a strange unwelcoming land. My beliefs and actions are as foreign to the people around me as theirs are to me. It is a lonely place to be. So, I write to try to understand myself and them. I share what I write in the hopes that it will be helpful to someone else. This week, one of the women who reads my blog, and is a part of a small RIE inspired playgroup here in South Florida, reached out and invited me to join the group, which is how I found myself braving the wind and the rain to drive thirty minutes south to meet H., who is a RIFoundations graduate, and facilitator of the group, and M., and L., and their babies who are participants in the group. We shared our stories, and  observed and appreciated the babies ( who are the same age as baby R.), as they enjoyed free movement while lying on their backs on a blanket. What an absolute joy to find myself in a peaceful environment, with women who speak the same language as I do, and who are committed to learning about, caring for, and treating babies with respect. It was heaven on earth. I left feeling less alone and more hopeful than I had in days. Would this connection have been made had I not been sharing my journey in this form, and had M. not read and commented, and shared with  H., who then reached out to me via phone and e-mail?  I don’t think so.

When a parent can’t be present but wants to be: My brother’s new job doesn’t allow him to take time off to visit with baby R. for the one hour a week we get to see her. This week, he called while we were visiting with R., and R.’s mom held the phone to R.’s ear and her dad talked to her for a few minutes. I watched as R. became still, and seemed to listen. She then began to smile and coo in response. Then, something amazing happened. R. laughed out loud for the first time (that I observed). She seemed to recognize (or at least enjoy hearing) her dad’s voice. We also used my phone to snap some photos to share with her dad. Ideal? No, but it’s all we’ve got right now, and it beats the alternative, which is nothing.

When a computer helps a child who has been unable to communicate her thoughts to “find her voice”: See Carly’s Voice , about a nonverbal autistic child who had a breakthrough in communication through the use of a computer. “But one day during a therapy session, Carly reached for the computer. Slowly, using one finger, she typed help teeth hurt. Her therapists were astonished. It took months and much coaxing to get her to use the computer again (at that time, an augmentative communication device). But she began to recognize that communication was essential. Technology made it possible.”

I could go on, and give other examples, but I’d really like it if you would share your thoughts and experiences with me. In which ways do you think  technology hinders or takes away from your relationship with your children? Are there ways you feel it enhances your relationships or creates connection and support for you as a parent? How do you find the balance?

 

 

 

 

8 Ways To Go “Commercial Free” and Give Play Back to Babies

On February 15, 2012, I had the pleasure of (finally) meeting Susan Linn (and her puppet Audrey), at The Third Place  in Los Altos, California. Susan began her talk, The Case For Make Believe, by sharing a bit about how she came to be “an activist and advocate for the rights and freedoms of children to play and to grow up without being undermined by the greed of corporations.”

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Susan Linn with Audrey

Dr. Linn is also an award winning ventriloquist and puppeteer who once performed on  Mister Rogers’ Neighborhood, an instructor in psychiatry at Harvard Medical School, and co-founder and director of the small but mighty Boston based advocacy group, Campaign For A Commercial-Free Childhood, or CCFC for short. (I refer to CCFC as the little organization whose roar Disney couldn’t ignore. More about that in a minute.) Susan Linn has written two books I have read and highly recommend: The Case for Make Believe:Saving Play in a Commercialized World, and Consuming Kids: The Hostile Takeover of Childhood.

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During her talk, Susan explored three main questions: Why do children need to play? How is technology and media influencing their play? And what can we do about it? She began by explaining, “Play is the foundation upon which children build critical thinking skills, creativity, self regulation, delayed gratification, follow through, and the ability to wrestle with life and make it meaningful.”

“Losing — or never acquiring — the ability to play may not sound like much until you realize that play is both the foundation of learning and essential to mental health. Initiative, curiosity, active exploration, problem solving and creativity are capacities that develop through play, as are the more ephemeral qualities of self-reflection, empathy, and the ability to find meaning in life.”

We know that babies are born with an intrinsic drive and ability to participate in relationships, to learn, and to actively engage in understanding their world and the people in it through their own exploration and play. There is an impressive and ever growing body of research that supports the belief that in the first years of life, beginning at birth, optimal intellectual, social and emotional development occurs through a baby’s direct engagement with his world and the people in it. Dr. Linn said, “As human beings, we need to make meaning of things, and we do this through play.” (Magda Gerber developed the basic principles of Resources For Infant Educarers (RIE) on exactly these beliefs.)

Toes!

Susan continued, “It would seem that as a society, we are doing everything in our power to discourage or undermine children’s play. Witness: academics in preschool,”teaching to the test”,  art, music, drama, and physical education programs disappearing from our schools, recess being cut, over scheduled children, free play being replaced by organized sports and formal lessons, outdoor play disappearing due to fear (stranger danger), and the ubiquitous and widespread use of screen media (A Vinci Touchscreen Mobile Learning Tablet for babies, anyone?) beginning in infancy.”

One of CCFC’s goals is to stop companies from luring babies to screens by making unfounded claims that their products are educational. CCFC encourages parents to follow the American Academy of Pediatrics’ recommendation to keep babies and toddlers under the age of two away from screen media.

Whether you choose to allow your baby to watch TV or not, Susan Linn believes you, as a parent, have the following rights:

  • a right to decide when to introduce your children to screen media.
  • a right to accurate information about the pros and cons of that choice.
  • a right to raise children without being undermined by commercial interests.

Which brings us to Baby Einstein and Disney. As reported in the New York Times, “Baby Einstein, founded in 1997, was one of the earliest players in what has become a huge electronic media market for babies and toddlers. Acquired by Disney in 2001, the company expanded to a full line of books, toys, flashcards and apparel, along with DVDs including “Baby Mozart,” “Baby Shakespeare” and “Baby Galileo.”

By targeting babies, companies are marketing not just products but lifelong habits, values and behaviors — hardwiring dependence on media before babies even have a chance to grow and develop and removing them further and further from the very experiences that are essential for healthy development. Susan Linn

CCFC  filed a complaint with the U.S. Federal Trade Commission against Disney and Brainy Baby for false and deceptive marketing of baby media in 2006. In response, Disney offered refunds of $15.99 for up to four “Baby Einstein” DVDs per household, purchased between June 5, 2004, and Sept. 5, 2009, and returned to the company. Although the company admitted no wrong doing, the New York Times said “the unusual refunds appear to be a tacit admission that they did not increase infant intellect.

For a simple demonstration of how children’s creative play may be influenced and truncated by rampant commercialization and early exposure to screens, I invite you to  participate in the following brief play exercise. (Susan Linn did a similar demonstration during the talk I attended.)

Interesting to note: When I showed this video clip to 36 month old J. (without the sound and without any prompting questions), when he saw the first toy he said, “Hey, that’s a froggy. A Daddy froggy who says ‘Ribbit  Ribbit’, and I play with him.” When he saw the second toy, he said, “I ride him. He’s a horsie who says ‘Neigh’, and he chomps!” When, he saw the third he said, “Hey, that’s Elmo, but why he’s not singing ‘La La La, La, La, La’?”

Susan asserts, “The best toys are 10% toy and 90% child. This means the toy just lies there until the child picks it up and makes it do something. And yet, the best selling toys are 5% child, and 95% toy (think:Tickle Me Elmo). Babies aren’t born thinking Elmo is important- babies are trained to have Elmo be important.”

(Speaking of early “training”– in January of 2011, Disney reached a new low by trying to “brand” babies at birth by “hiring Our365–a newborn photography service/marketing firm–to promote its new Disney Baby line in maternity hospitals around the country. Moms who request a newborn portrait during their hospital stay are pitched Disney Baby by their photographer, given a branded onesie, and encouraged to sign up for email alerts from DisneyBaby.com.”)

Again, Susan’s words echo Magda Gerber’s who believed children should be the “main producers, script writers, and actors” in their own play, as Janet Lansbury explains in  Better Toys for Busy Babies:

Magda Gerber believed in “busy babies rather than busy toys”. She suggested we keep toys simple so that our babies could investigate them thoroughly, use them imaginatively in multiple ways, and be encouraged to be active explorers. As she explains in Dear Parent – Caring For Infants With Respect, “…entertaining kinds of toys (such as mobiles or, later on, wind-up toys or battery-operated items) cause a passive child to watch an active toy. This trains the child to expect to be amused and entertained and sets the scene for later TV watching.”

Alas, CCFC, along with the American Academy of Pediatrics and many early childhood professionals and play advocates, including me, are facing an uphill struggle, not only against corporate marketers, but with reaching parents with this crucial message.

Consider these statistics quoted by Dr. Linn: 19% of babies have TVS in their bedrooms, 40% of three month old babies are regular viewers of TV, and 90% of children under the age of  two years old have some involvement with screens.

This, despite the fact that there is “NO EVIDENCE, NONE  that TV viewing is educational,” and “recent research indicates screen time for babies may be habit forming, contribute to sleep disturbances, inhibit the development of language,  contribute to attention deficits, and leave less time for hands-on, active and creative play, or fewer interactions with parents. Another concern is that “screen-saturated babies will never learn how to soothe or amuse themselves independently.”

The question that most interests me is this one:Why do loving, conscientious, well intentioned parents ignore the AAP guidelines? Susan has conjectured,

“Today’s overworked, over stressed, under-supported parents don’t really want to hear that videos such as Baby Einstein and Brainy Baby are not educational and that screen time may even be harmful. By believing they’re beneficial, parents can justify using electronic media to get what may be a much-needed break from hands-on child care.”

Certainly, the conversations I’ve had with parents over many years of working with families would seem to indicate that this is indeed the case. Janet Lansbury writes, “parents desperately need breaks from the 24/7 job of baby care, especially in those first years (been there!). Sometimes TV can seem the easiest or only answer.”

Further, many parents DO believe that shows like Sesame Street, and videos like Baby Einstein and the ilk are educational, and some fear that their babies may be left out or left behind if they don’t have access to them, a point poignantly brought home to me when I was working as the supervisor of an Infant/Toddler Center and a young Mom came to ask me if I knew of anyone at the Center who had purchased the Baby Einstein videos and would maybe allow her to borrow them to make copies, so she could show them to her young son. This Mom shyly explained that she and her husband spoke only Spanish to their baby at home, and they had no income to spare to purchase videos, but she wanted her baby to have the advantages that other children had, and she felt the videos would help her baby learn to speak English better than she and her husband could. I was happy to be able to help her to understand that her baby wasn’t missing out on a thing by not having access to such videos.

Susan concluded her talk by saying,”This is an issue for our society, not just an individual issue. We pass on our values with the stories we tell, and the toys we give children. We tell them- ‘We like this.’  ‘This is what men and women should aspire to.’ ”

But do we want to buy the bill of goods corporate America is selling to us and our children? It’s an important question to consider, especially since our “boys are being sold violence”,  and our “girls are being sold princess culture and sexualization.” It’s a somewhat bleak picture, but not one that we can’t change if we choose. Let’s return childhood and play to our children, shall we?

If you are interested in learning more, or wondering what you can you do to support, encourage, and protect your baby’s innate ability to play and learn without the use of screen media, or undue influence from corporate marketers, here are some suggestions and resources:

1) Become aware and informed. CCFC offers reliable, trustworthy information through their web site and newsletter, and an incredible number of free resources for families, educators, and advocates, outlining what the issues are, and offering ways to be proactive in fighting the over commercialization of childhood. They also offer resources for families and educators who wish to be intentional and conscious in the use of screen media with children.

2) Consider following the American Academy of Pediatrics’ advice, and don’t expose children under the age of two to any TV at all. Limit TV viewing and screen time for preschool aged children to no more than one hour per day of educational programming, and try to watch with them, if you do allow them to watch.

3) If you are a parent struggling with the question of how to keep the TV off  while still managing to cook a meal or take a breath once in awhile, I can’t recommend Janet Lansbury’s posts No Need For TV, Baby, and A Creative Alternative to TV Time, highly enough. She gives concrete, solid guidance and suggestions that help to address the very real dilemma parents face.

4) Consider purchasing toys, books, clothing, food, diapers, and accessories that do not feature Disney, Sesame Street, or other cartoon characters. Look here for good ideas about toys for babies and young children that are 10% toy, and 90% child.

5) You can watch the documentary Consuming Kids for free online.

6) Don’t put a TV in your child’s bedroom, and don’t turn on the TV during meal-times.

7) Consider participating in Screen Free Week (which falls on April 30th – May 6th this year). Susan says it’s not necessary to give up the use of all screens for the week in order to participate, although CCFC will “go dark” on their site, facebook page, and twitter account for the week. You can use Screen Free Week as an opportunity to evaluate and assess your family’s use of screen media, and to experiment with ways to enjoy time together as a family without the distraction of screens. For the first time ever, CCFC is offering a free organizers kit. Get yours today!

8) Finally,  I invite you to share your thoughts, challenges, resources, and what has worked for your family in the comments below.

 

 

Wordless Wednesday – Is this good for babies?

 

 

For your consideration and discussion:

 


“We are conducting the world’s greatest experiment in real time on our children,’’ said Liz Perle, editor in chief at Common Sense Media, a San Francisco nonprofit group that helps parents manage media and technology.

Five Good Reasons to Hand Your Car Keys Over to Your Toddler

Have you ever had an  idea come to you out of  the blue; an idea so obvious and simple, that you can’t believe no one has thought of it before? An idea you can’t wait to share with anyone who will listen, because you just know it will change the world for the better, and if not that, at least it can’t do much harm? Well I had one of those flashes today, and I am just itching to share, so here goes: I think this just may be the next “big thing” in parenting and educating babies and toddlers, the piece that has been missing and without  which our babies and toddlers aren’t faring nearly as well as they might. Are you ready to hear what this missing piece is? It is simply this: We should be encouraging and teaching our babies to drive as soon as they are sitting up on their own. Just think about it for a minute before you dismiss my idea out of hand. Here are five good reasons to begin drivers education before your child is even out of diapers.

The Young and The Reckless
1) First of all, driving is a complex skill that most people will need to learn in order to survive and thrive in our industrialized, highly mobile society. So it makes sense to introduce your child to the basics early. You want her to grow familiar and comfortable with this tool she will be using for the rest of her life. The earlier you introduce her,  the better. Of course, you aren’t going to just hand the keys over and leave her to her own devices; you’ve got to take it slow in the beginning. At first, you must always be present to supervise, guide, and interact. You can begin by just allowing your baby to sit in the driver’s seat, and let him practice playing with all of  the various knobs and buttons so he can see what they can do. (I  am, of course, writing a book, available soon on the e-reader of your choice, suitable  for use by parents and educators. It will be full of suggested guidelines, lesson plans, extended learning opportunities, books and games, and so much more, all intended to help you make the most of this overlooked but wonderful learning tool  that you no doubt have sitting in your driveway at this very moment.)

2) Which brings me to my second point: Cars are the ideal, interactive teaching and entertainment tools for young toddlers. Have you ever known a baby who doesn’t love to sit behind the wheel of a car,  honk the horn, fiddle with the radio controls, turn the wipers on and off, shift the gears, and so on? Toddlers learn through hands on interaction with objects in their environment, and they are thrilled when their actions cause things to happen. What better way to provide hours of interactive learning (disguised as play) for your little one? Also, to date, your baby has been a passive on-looker, as she’s been strapped in a car seat in the back, and has had nothing to do but bide her time, and stare out at the scenery during long car rides. By moving her to the front seat, and letting her get her hands on all of these wonderfully responsive knobs and buttons, you are moving her into the realm of an active participant in her own learning.

3) Think about this too: As your child grows, and her interests and skills grow, so does the number and variety of activities she can do, using the car. She can learn to put the keys in the ignition, and turn over the engine,  and as soon as she can reach the gas pedals and brake, she can actually take the car out for a spin. Steering, navigating, map skills,  plotting a course, reading road signs, following the rules of the road, oh gosh- the possibilities for expanded learning are just endless. She may even become interested in car care, and maintenance and learn to understand the workings of an engine. Some children will even be designing their own prototypes by the time they’re in elementary school.

4) Again, with so many learning opportunities, doesn’t it just make sense to introduce the car early? It seems to me the earlier we start teaching our babies how to operate and care for a car, the better chance they will have at becoming proficient drivers at a much earlier age. And just think about how this might benefit you as a parent. No more endless hours spent in the car, ferrying children back and forth to school, to doctor appointments, lessons, playdates – what have you.  By the time they’re about ten years old, children should be able to manage mostly on their own, and even arrange their own carpools. You can finally take a well deserved break, and they can feel the satisfaction of being able to get themselves to and from where they want to go- it will literally open up new worlds for them, at a much younger age than previously.

5) Finally, it’s time that we as a society stop underestimating our children, and what they are capable of. If we treat them like babies, incapable of  understanding and mastering complex tasks, they will continue to act like babies. Times change, and the way we teach our children has to change with the times. Children will still have plenty of time to run around outside, and generally act like children, as long as we remember that we are the ones in control of the keys, and we limit the time we allow them to spend in the car playing and practicing their driving skills.  But, if we are going to show our toddlers that we have any respect for them, that we believe in them and their capabilities, we’ve got to start giving them access to opportunities and tools that will  stretch their horizons, at an early age. We don’t want them falling behind, do we? Besides, who needs toys when you can just hand your baby the keys to the car and make him happy for hours?

Now, I can imagine that there may be a few of you out there who are still unconvinced. Innovative ideas are always met with some skepticism and resistance at first, but I’m sure that this one is a winner. I’d love to have the opportunity to be the first to hear and reply to your concerns and questions. I have no doubt I can help to allay any fears or misgivings you may have, so please, comment freely and honestly.

Talking to Grandparents
(Now that I’ve convinced you all that I’ve gone completely nuts, go back and re-read this post, inserting the word “computer” wherever I’ve written car or driving. I wrote this post tongue firmly in cheek, after reading a tweet by Lisa Belkin,  “Remember when toddlers used to be transfixed by your car keys? Ipad apps for Toddlers????”  I thought, “Toddlers are better off with the car keys…”  Most parents and early childhood educators would never think of handing a toddler the car keys, leading  him to the car and saying “OK, here you go, have at it”,  yet we might not think twice about handing a baby an iPhone or an iPad,  for entertainment or learning purposes.  There are marketers (no surprise), and there are  even some early childhood professionals who advocate for the use of  screen technology with our youngest children, but I can’t get behind this agenda. For a thoughtful exploration and discussion of the topic, you might want to look at this post at Childhood 101 , Why I don’t want to share my lap top (with my children.  Additionally, this post , entitled the Mind/Body Problem, written by Susan Lin, of  Commercial Free Childhood makes a compelling argument for why we should all be advocating for limits on screen time for young children. Susan’s post was written in response to NAEYC’s  (National Association For The Education of Young Children) proposed technology position statement, which is being updated this year, and is meant to guide early childhood educators in the use of technology in early childhood classrooms. Technology is here to stay. Computers are wonderful tools- for adults. Children can and will learn to use computers, just as they learn to drive cars, and they won’t be missing out on anything by waiting until they are developmentally ready. I don’t believe they are ready until they are well out of their toddler years. In my opinion, children younger than say, the age of eight, have more to lose by engaging with screens,  than they stand to gain. What are your thoughts?)

What Does Twitter Have To Do With Babies?

Anyone who knows me knows that I have been slow to embrace social media. Until three weeks ago, I never had a facebook page for my business, and I wouldn’t even entertain the idea of jumping on the twitter bandwagon. I just couldn’t see the point.

And then something happened that changed my mind, and turned my way of thinking upside down.The organization called RIE, founded by my mentor Magda Gerber, received some attention in the press. First, there was an article in The Daily Beast, which was copied, and spread like wildfire across the Internet, and then Lisa Belkin, of the New York Times, wrote about RIE in her well known, well respected, and well read blog, The Motherlode.

I will not be supplying the links to those articles here, because I refuse to be a part of spreading the snarky, inaccurate portrayal of Magda Gerber’s philosophy as presented in those articles. If you are interested in reading a thoughtful response to those articles, I will instead refer you to Janet Lansbury’s post, RIE Parenting, A Culture Of Creativity.

The response by the general public to the original articles was largely negative, and I found myself feeling helpless, and incensed that Magda’s words and work were being so misunderstood, and presented and judged in such a negative light, because I am passionate about carrying her message of respect for babies to as many people as possible. I have witnessed the power Magda’s approach has to make a profound positive difference in the lives of not only children, but adults as well.

It occurred to me that the reason Magda’s ideas are so little known, and even less well understood, is not just because they are a little different from the accepted norm, but because they haven’t been presented to the wider world in a way that others could hear, accept, and understand. When Magda was first introducing her philosophy to parents and early childhood professionals in the United States, beginning in 1978, the Internet and social media didn’t exist. (OK, the Internet existed, but we weren’t all on-line 24 hours a day.) The first inquiries that came to Magda came in the mail, in the form of handwritten notes (can you imagine?) and she responded on a typewriter.

Some say that Magda wasn’t ambitious, and was content to let RIE grow slowly and to remain a small organization, and to some extent that was true,  yet I see evidence everywhere that she was a one woman dynamo, passionate about enrolling others in the cause of “Seeing Infants With New Eyes.” Magda maintained an impressive schedule of teaching and speaking, traveling far and wide to bring her message to parents and professionals everywhere, in addition to writing a monthly newsletter, authoring three books, producing four videos, and a yearly conference for parents and teachers, to boot. She did this with the assistance of a part-time secretary, and a troop of dedicated volunteers.

Magda was fond of saying ” the message is the messenger,” (or vice- versa) and she was the embodiment of the message she was trying to convey to others. A person could not be in her presence without feeling deeply listened to, and appreciated. I vividly remember one time when she entered a baby/parent class that I was teaching. One of the little babies was crying inconsolably. Magda approached slowly, and sat quietly near the baby, and waited. After a few minutes, she talked to the baby in a quiet voice. The baby stopped crying, and gazed into Magda’s eyes, and in a few minutes she was smiling and cooing. Babies often responded to Magda’s presence in this way. It was magical to witness, yet there was no magic involved. Magda had the ability to be truly still, and fully present with babies and grown -ups alike, and it made a difference.

I feel like today more than ever before, families and professionals working with families, need to know about, and can benefit from understanding Magda Gerber’s ideas about babies, even if they don’t agree with them, or choose another way to parent or care. Magda was never invested in having people agree with her; instead she wanted to start conversations. She wanted to encourage people to think about babies in a different way. She never espoused her way as being the one way, only way, or right way to parent or care.

It occurs to me Magda was a social media maven in her own right, before there was twitter or facebook. Imagine the number of people she could reach with her message today if she was here to engage on-line. I can’t help but believe she just might take advantage of twitter and facebook to reach a larger audience if she was here with us today.

Times change, and the way we communicate with and bring our message to others has to change with the times. And so, I am now entering the world of social media via twitter, and facebook in hopes of taking a small part in bringing Magda Gerber’s ideas to a broader audience.

Because I am a teacher at heart, I can’t help but want to share my experience and thoughts about what I have learned (so far) about using twitter effectively to bring a message to a wider audience. I’ve discovered some interesting connections between engaging in, and building relationships on-line and engaging in, and building relationships off- line. Tomorrow, I’d like to share more on that topic. I’d love it if you’d join me in the conversation.

To be continued…. http://www.bitrebels.com/geek/10-tips-to-build-meaningful-relationships-on-twitter/